30-Day Blog Challenge: Day Four—A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Bad habits. Everybody has them, but fewer will admit to having one. Habits can be very innocuous and occur virtually unnoticed (like always having to use three pieces of paper towels to clean up a spill no matter how small) or they can immediately draw attention to it or just generally annoy the crap out of everyone (like humming for no apparant reason). I have problems with people who crack their knuckles. The sound just drives me crazy and it sends shivers up my spine.
One habit I wish I could get rid of is nibbling on my fingers. It’s a nervous habit I’ve had ever since I was a kid. Some people will bite their fingernails if they feel anxious, I nibble on my fingers. Unfortunately, it’s gone a bit beyond when anxiety strikes—it also happens when I’m bored, figity, or letting my thoughts drift mindlessly.
When I was a child, my mother tried for years to get me to stop. She tried all sorts of home remedies, which usually consisted of putting some sort of spicy powder on my fingers. Amazingly enough, that didn’t bother me. Who’d knew I’d enjoy the flavor of chili pepper?!? When that failed, she started buying over the counter medicines. Their bitter flavors didn’t hinder me either. Even prescription medicine didn’t stop the nibbling. Eventually mom just gave up.
So my fingers look a bit rough, like the hands of a farmer who has been working in the fields all day. Maybe the whole feeling of nibbling being a bad habit has more to do with vanity and wanting my fingers to look slender and smooth than any other factor or social stigma. Am I doomed to always have workman’s hands?
Not necessarily. There is a possible solution.
Zen Buddhism encourages us to live in the moment, to pay attention to the now, to be mindful—you know exactly what is going on outside of you, around you, and within you. Remember what I said earlier about by habit of nibbling? I mentioned that I tend to do it mindlessly. Applying the zen approach, I need to be more mindful of what I’m doing. By being mindful, I can catch those moments when I am about to nibble on my fingers and I can stop myself from doing it.
Sounds easy, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, it takes practice and patience to be mindful. If it were easy, then everyone would be doing it and there would be enlightened zen masters everywhere! (How about that. I managed to address the topic for today and throw a little zen into it!)
Until next time!
